2 years.... that’s how long I’ve known you.

3 months.... that’s how long we dated.

1 day.... for you to destroy what friendship we had left.

You were a gentleman. It was too late for me to go home after our movie night and you said I could take the bed and you take the couch. All of a sudden I wake up to you taking my pants off and trying to force yourself in me despite my best efforts to get away when I realized what you were doing. You didn’t do it, but you could have raped me and you know it.

Thank goodness I ended up getting away, but now I will never be the same. Sex will never be the same. Guys to me will never be the same. I will always think that any pair of hands coming at me will only inflict hurt on me. I will always have nightmares about that night because you hurt me. I will never forgive you for taking away what little happiness I had left in my life that night.

Even though this happened in December, you still try to contact me. Why? Don’t you see the pain you caused me? The anxiety? If I were to ever see you again I will probably have a panic attack. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to be reminded of that night. I don’t want to possibly relive that night. I don’t want you near me. I don’t want you to touch me. I want you to stay away from me. I was so ashamed that night I didn’t tell anyone. Not my mom, my bestfriend... no one.

Hopefully me writing this will bring me some closure about the event. But I WILL NEVER be the same. You broke me. You killed me. You made me not want another person to ever touch me. You made me think that people will only ever want to hurt me and for that...

You can go to hell.

-A.