Dear 'uncle'

Potential Trigger warning - Flashbacks

I notice it hurts you.. it concerns you my behaviour. may be you didn't realise the severity of my struggle well I guess you do now . I remember one Friday night at youth where I was spaced out and I had 2 staff around me .. trying to get me out of that mindset . Trying to get me talk . They'd try touch me (made it worse) .. Try to take my phone (my lifeline) but I just wouldn't respond . Not that I was choosing not too but that I physically and mentally couldn't. You came along and understood .. took out my earphones (which after u told me u did) you told me "I took out your earphones cause you don't need to put your mind through that". THEN you said something which has rarely been said to me ... You told me 'You deserve better" you said "I get your not in a chatty mood right now but may be you will be later"AFTER YOUTH .. we got talking you asked me how I was .. I told you I was fine.. I could tell you didn't believe me .. I told you again I was fine to which you said "I've not seen you spaced out like that before". I notice it hurts you.. it concerns you. I'm sorry.