This really was what I needed...

I had such a lovely chat with a colleague the other day. Now this is a colleague that I have never really spoken to, we are completely different people. So she had just announced she was pregnant and due to the nature of our job had been moved in to my department. Now as happy as I tried to be she could clearly tell I was devastated. I kept a smile on my face and got on with my day.

At the end of our day she randomly asked if we could for a coffee. I thought why not as it’d be nice to get to know her!

Well during this coffee she helped me no end. She told me she knew I was struggling to conceive just by my face when she spoke about her pregnancy. She told me all about her problems, her infertility, how the doctors told her she’d never conceive naturally. She gave me advice and most importantly an ear to talk to!

I took two things away from this chat..

1- why stress myself over ttc. Although I say this and I’m not quite sure how it’s possible, I learnt that I’m putting way too much pressure on myself. Blaming myself, hating myself. It’s no wonder I’m not conceiving. Perhaps I’m trying to hard🤷🏻‍♀️

2- I need be open and talk about my struggles more. Now none of my family know we’re ttc as I feel it adds more pressure. I use this app but barely post and other than that only my best friend knows. Having someone like this colleague share her stories and advice and just being there to listen really was a massive help!

I’m currently waiting for referrals to come through to see a fertility specialist and while I wait I have decided to put ttc to one side. No more stress, no more tears. I’m not giving up, I’m just doing me and things WILL work out❤️❤️