My boyfriend is amazing.

Okay so two years ago I moved down to south Carolina I was living with my aunt fo about a month in her attic above the garage. I found my own apartment with in a month it was a one bedroom one bath allowed pets its was perfect. But I was very alone I had no one no true family no friends no nothing. Everyone one I loved was in new York including my boyfriend that I have been dating for 4 years now. So one day i came home from work and I was going to commit suicide. I wrote letters to everyone one I loved I made a video and everything. Just 2 minutes before it all happened my mom called me, telling me I was coming home because there was a hurricane about to hit. I swear that god was really watching over me that day. So I went home and I came back to SC with my boyfriend, we have had a great time I have been feeling good about everything we have 2 dogs and a cat and some fish together now and we both have are friends, its honestly great. But then last night I got really drunk and I just started crying over everything I used to have and miss so my boyfriend comes in and hes asking what's wrong over and over again and a I kept saying was shut up please shut up. I was honestly thinking I was better off dead last night I didnt want to wake up today, it seemed like everyone hated me and I was unloved are roommate, one of my best friends said hes going back to new York. I am going to miss him so much but it is his decision.

I am the kind of person who jokes about my own life problems I always say them out loud like i told my boyfriend 1000 of times that I tried to plug In a toaster and put it in my bathtub but I would say it jokingly even though I really meant what I was saying.

So last night I finally said you know what owen I really was going to kill my self that night it wasn't a joke it was REAL if my mom never called I wouldn't be here today. And he said he knows.. he saw my video.. I never deleted It I forgot all about it. I was like you know? And he said yeah I have been waiting 2 years for you to tell me. He said its okay everyone has there time where they will share things like that to the people closest to you he said I love you no matter what and was just helping me through it. Like who could love someone that much to keep that to themselves till I was ready to share it. I have the best boyfriend in the world honestly.