So I have a boss who is pregnant. She just turned 24 years old and I am 21. She already has a 2 year old daughter, and before her current daughter, she was pregnant, but got an abortion because she wasn’t ready. Anyway, I have been trying for my own kid for over a year. No luck. And before she got pregnant with the 2nd baby, she had the audacity to tell me that I need to wait because work has been getting hectic, and that she will need me a lot. But she’s allowed to pop out another baby. Wasn’t even trying. And then talking about her financial issues. So guess who has to pick up the weight around work? Guess who has to walk in to work everyday with her pregnancy being a slap in the face. How do I smile and ignore my pain and hurt? How do I ignore the hate that I have for myself? I hate myself and I’m disappointed in myself. I want nothing more than to be a mom.

I sit at home every weekend doing nothing but homework and watching Grey’s Anatomy. I don’t believe in smoking, drinking or clubbing. I know I’m young, but what’s wrong with starting out early?

I already have a career, I get my Associate’s this year. I have a wonderful support system. I’m ready. Financially, Physically and Mentally.

Not to mention, I help one of my friends out with her kids. She couldn’t even afford her newborn a car seat. So I bought it for her. She has a deadbeat father, and I come in place of that. I will also most likely be taking my sisters kids for a year because she has to go overseas for work.

I seem to be helping everyone else out with their kids, but I can’t have my own?

How would you feel? Because I feel like a worthless, shit bag.