i’m in 11th grade and i’m finna turn 17 , last “school” year in 10th grade i went to this new school and well that first month of school i met this dude in my class he was really bad on drugs and stuff but he was funny and had a good personality well he added himself on my snap and that day as soon as i got home i had already got a text from him welll we texted everyday after that and ofc we developed feelings but he wasn’t ready for a relationship which right then and there i should have kinda left it alone but i had caught feelings so it was kinda hard for me to do that well come to september 15 2017 we made it official we had a good for months together and a week or two before christmas he broke up with me and i was totally upset and then we got back together and then literally a week later he broke up with me again and i should had left him alone right there fr but i was very dumb and stayed we never made it official again but really it was bcuz we was acting like we was together and all but the thing that was different was he changed he started treating me like trash he made me feel worthless and to the point i want to die and stuff and i still stayed with him and loved him like he was even hurting me but yet he was every day every second he treated me like trash like i was nothin but a speck of dirt he claimed he loved me and all this stuff but nahhh we started arguing A LOT too like everyday and i would threaten to leave and he would act like he don’t care and then my dumb self would call him crying and then the next day he will be all sorry and stuff and tell me he won’t do it again and all that well come around too february of 2018 i was with my friend and her dad lived in the neighborhood that the boy lived in well i ended up going to his house and i lost my virginity to him that day even tho he did not deserve it at all and he claimed that taking my virginity made him realize how much he loved me and all that well after that i was going over there all the time to have sex with him but it just got worse with him i started feeling like he was just using me for sex like the only way i could get him to do right was to threaten him by saying i wouldn’t let him have sex with me and it just made me feel awful like everything was still getting worse like nothin changed and then later on in april of 2018 i snooped on his stuff and saw message with this girl and that literally broke my heart so bad like i was depressed i just couldn’t believe this boy that i had did everything for and gave all my love too and never left his side could have cheated on me but guess what my dumb self did ? i stayed he apologized and he said he only wanted sex from her and that he wanted me and all that well then exactly the next day of saying that he tells me if i want him to stay with me i have to let him have sex with other girls and that just broke my heart even more but ya know what i let him do it while i stayed being loyal and hurting from every bit of pain he caused well he finally said he wasn’t gon do that no more and we stayed together for some months and just recently like a month ago he left me and got with a girl the next day even when over the summer he got his phone taken for a month and i stayed loyal and just after all the stuff i did for him and the things he said .. it literally hurt me and now i suffer from that pain everyday i don’t even trust boys bc of him i’m so scared to even get in a relationship bcuz i don’t wanna go thru that again 🤷🏼‍♀️ any advice ?