Our miracle baby ✨ (very long)

My little love is two months old, and I’m finally getting around to sharing my birth story!

On Nov 16 2018, I was out for lunch with my husband when I started feeling contractions in noticeable intervals. They didn’t hurt badly at all but I could tell they were coming and going just like I had read about! (First time momma here!) we were excited. We spent the rest of our night enjoying time together and my husband began flipping get through his “dad’s pregnant too” baby book like he was cramming for a test he was about to take lol

That night after watching the hockey game, I decided I should try and get my rest in case bubba would be coming very soon! I laid down and JUST shut my eyes when I felt a slight ‘pop’ (sort of felt like gas?) and some pain. I got up off the bed only to have a gush of fluid down my legs... my eyes were as big as saucers. My husband came running (he heard me making surprised sounds) and frantically asked if i was ok. I told him it was time to go to the hospital and told him not to freak out. He freaked out 😂

Fast forward to 1 AM (water broke at 12:45) Nov 17 ‘18 and we are on our way to the hospital. I decided that I would park in the garage at the hospital and walk in with my hubby. Had to detour outside because the doors were locked at our usual entrance - regretted my decision as my contractions grew 😭 Finally got to labour and delivery, and explained what happened with my water breaking to the nurses. They looked at me and seemed unconvinced I was really in labour (i learned through this experience that I have a decent tolerance for pain..) so they had me walk around for an hour so they could prove I was in labour before admitting me.

I walked through the hospital with my husband and whole family lol! Mom dad and sister all showed up to watch me waddle down the hallways, stopping every few minutes to clutch my uterus and breath through the ever more painful contractions. I leaned on everything from newspaper holders to family members. Lol

Finally got back to labour and delivery and said goodbye to my family. My most recent contraction made me want to vomit - I knew I needed to go somewhere that I could focus and be around less people. So back to the triage room I go -

The nurses inform me THERE ARENT ANY DELIVERY ROOMS AVAILABLE - Uhm excuse me?! Just so happens that night was exceptionally busy... (I blame all the babies conceived around Valentine’s Day 😂😂)

So there I am in triage, yoga breathing through each painful contraction while my

Husband helps me drink water and rubs my lower back. I was able to breath rhythmically and cope with the pain this way (ladies, yoga breathing is key to staying calm and working through the pain!) while in triage I had several residents come and ask me the same questions over and over - I felt like losing my mind “CANT YOU SEE IM IN LABOUR STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS” instead I continued to breath and answer what I could between contractions. It was so weird to feel intense pain one minute and then completely fine between the pain. By the time a room was ready for me, I had been labouring for over four hours in that tiny triage room and all I wanted was to try the jacuzzi tub!

5 AM and I’m in the tub. I felt immediate relief. I was able to breathe and talk and told my husband to have whatever kind of nap he could. He pulled a chair next to the tub and held my hand 💗 I tried to rest too, but the contractions gained intensity. I stayed in the tub for three hours. By this point, my nurse was asking if I planned to have epidural. I said I was open to anything and began thinking about what decisions I needed to make. I hadn’t dilated at all since the triage room (was at 5 Cm) and that had already been 7 hours of active labour! I had at least 6/8 more to go. I thought about the risks, about my tolerance for pain, about my ability to push if I got too tired, and I also thought about how long I’d probably have to wait if I wanted an epidural (judging by how things were going that night lol) I eventually decided to get the epidural. And I’m glad I did. I ended up needing pitocin to help with getting things along (but also making my contractions way more painful)

Got out of the tub, on the bed, saw a little pink hat on the warming table for baby across from me. My heart felt excited imaging a little baby wearing that very hat!

Fast forward a COUPLE HOURS (long wait like I thought!) and the anesthesiologist is finally in my room. Honestly, the insertion was no big deal at all. I stayed extremely still (I was nervous about all the extreme side effects - which are rare- but it made me stay still despite my very painful contractions) I felt a bit of a twinge on the right side, but as he fiddled with it he couldn’t fix it, so I just said whatever. The relief came pretty quickly. It was amazing! The cold drip I felt down my back each time the medication was administered was weirdly satisfying lol ladies I’ll tell you, if your epidural works properly - you’re laughing!! That thing is magic!

Anyways, mine didn’t work lol.

I had relief for maybe an hour or so and decided to rest. At first the pain crept up on whichever side of my body was facing up... so I switched sides a couple times and eventually settled on my back. Well then the contractions started in a patch on my right side. At first the pain was like 3/10

And I told my nurse about it and said it’s not that bad. Not long after though, the pain was enough that I was not talking any more. Just breathing through the pain. The pitocin was kicking things into high gear and I had dilated to 7 CM. I hadn’t talked for quite some time.. silently breathing through contractions with my eyes closed (seriously those breaths helped so much!!!) another nurse came in and decided to give me fentanyl... I didn’t have the words to consent.. not the best thing that happened during my labour. It didn’t help AT ALL. Anyways, shortly after that I was at a 10/10 pain that made me feel like I was in another world. I began vomiting and my poor husband caught it in a cup for what felt like eternity. However I will say, it was strangely relieving to vomit. They gave me meds to stop my nausea and I finally stopped vomiting. No idea how long that lasted!

After a long while of feeling all my contractions at a 10/10 pain (but not being able to move into different positions because my legs still didn’t have full feeling) I finally entered transition. I knew it was transition because my pain literally felt like 14/10 (very specific I know but that’s what it was lol) it was the most intense pain I’ve ever felt, but weirdly tolerable (you’re at the end of the tunnel!) plus you have no choice but to get through it lol! I began making loud and low moaning sounds (which I learned afterward REALLY freaked my poor husband out 😂😂) and they checked my cervix. Fully dilated!

The OB comes in and asks if I want to “rest” for a bit before pushing or push now. The first word id spoken in hours -PUSH!!!! (Rest?! My epidural isn’t working! Lol!)

So they got the stirrups ready and started coaching me. Aprox 2:20 pm nov 17

I asked for a mirror, and followed their instructions to push. The pushing felt like relief from the contractions- our bodies are amazing! I pushed for an hour and six minutes. Toward the end, it was painful and hard by I had to push INTO the contractions as many times as I could, while they intensified. No longer relief lol. Right before she was born, I had intense burning all through my pelvis.. not how I expected the “ring of fire” to feel 🤔 but soon after seeing that beautiful dark hair emerge, they were placing my sweet purple, screaming girl on my chest at 3:31 PM.

And so was born my miracle baby-

Isla Mary Niomi MacRae

7 lb. 4 oz - 19.6 in long.

(That’s her on day 2)

I had two tears, but postpartum recovery really wasn’t too bad.

It wasn’t until after I delivered my placenta that I realized why she was my miracle baby. First of all I have thyroid disease. So getting pregnant to begin with was a huge blessing!! But after Isla was born, I saw the med staff all looking at my placenta and whispering... they eventually came over and explained that a large membrane carrying my isla’s blood supply was on the outside of the placenta, where it didn’t belong. They told me that if my water hadn’t broken at home (which is actually pretty rare!) that they’d have broken it for me, and would have very likely tore through that membrane and I would have lost my baby. My ears could hardly process what they were saying... but she was here and safe and laying on my chest. And I thank God everyday for that.

If you made it this far in my post you’re a champ! And all I can say to other FTM out there is God designed you to be so strong and to create life inside you!!! You will do amazing. No matter how nervous you are, try to stay calm and take deeps breaths. Lean on Him.

Here’s more pics of my baby girl!

💗 thanks for reading!! Best of luck to all you pregnant ladies reading this! Xo