I was raped by a guy I dated a while ago, and the past 6 months I’ve been trying to heal, and the last couple weeks I’ve been happy and thinking about him less, but now I feel like I’m questioning whether it was actually as bad as I’ve been thinking it was. I feel like if it were really that bad, I wouldn’t be having the good days (or weeks) that I’ve been having, because I’ve been depressed for a while and hadn’t had good days in such a long time, and now I’m feeling like because I’m happier, my abuse must not have been as bad as I thought. It’s weird because the last time I felt like this was when I first started trying to heal, and I don’t want to be back at square one, but I find myself questioning whether I’ve just been trying to make something out of nothing because I feel like other people have gone through worse instances of rape, and if mine were “real” or “legitimate” rape, I wouldn’t be able to have these good days/weeks.