Do you tell your SO every time you test?

My husband and I have been “not preventing” pregnancy for the last 6 months. We go back and forth between eagerly hoping for conception and general fear and trepidation.

I’ve always incredibly private about pregnancy testing with him because 1) I feel like I’m crazy for testing so early, 2) I don’t want to get his hopes up for yet another negative, and 3) one day when there is a positive I want to think of a cute way to surprise him.

I don’t test super often, not even every month, but I even go so far as to hide my negative tests and their packages from him. I think it’s like a private failure each time that I just shoulder myself and move along. He’s mentioned before that he believes the reason we haven’t conceived yet is because of him, so maybe I’m also trying to shield him from some of that burden.

Honestly I know he would prefer I communicate more with him about my cycle and TWW and negatives, but it’s so hard for me! We literally talk to each other about every other thing, but I don’t open up about this.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way but I’m curious to know how other people go about this process with their spouses and SOs.