so about three years ago I was raped. I was under the influence and with my friend and we went to this guys house to hangout and chill at a bonfire, we started drinking more etc and it slowly moved inside. There were three guys there that I knew from school but weren’t really good friends with except one who I was really close with. Well I went to lay day and one of the guys comes up to me and asks if I wanted a massage and I said yes and he started to give me one and I ended up blacking out. I woke up and two of the guys were taking turns with me, completely stripped me naked and we’re making sure I stayed still. I blacked out again. When I woke up I was naked and scared, my friend was crying in the corner and said she didn’t do anything to stop them so In shock I put my clothes on and started walking home in the freezing cold and that was it. I never reported it cause I didn’t have evidence and I was scared I didn’t know what to do, the “friend” I went with completely left me in the dust and the two guys who did it made up stories saying I asked for it and all this other untrue stuff and to this day walk around as if nothing happened and treat me like some friend. I was completely humiliated and depressed. My mom is abusive and when I turned 18 a few months ago I moved out into my current boyfriends home with his family, he and my best friend are the only people who know. I never told my father because I was scared and still am and my mom would just say it’s my fault and punish me. I am trying to work on getting closure and becoming stronger from this event but even 3 years after i still haven’t been able to deal with this. If anyone has kind words or prayers or advice it’d be much appreciated. I just wanna move on and let this event make me stronger and not tear me down