UPDATE:I see D next Thursday, so I'll probably try to tell him then. E and I barely talk after he discovered the mutual feelings between D and I. It'd not like we ignore eachother. He just doesn't speak unless spoken to, now. It never used to be that way. E said he doesn't mind being in 2nd place to me. I hate that he thinks that way. Like I'm choosing which one is better. Like a competition, because I'm not. I have feelings for both of them in different ways.. D just expressed hmself first. Anyway, I'll let y'all know what happens when I tell D and all of the small details from now and then. Thank you guys for all of the advice in the comments. It helped make my mind less of a muddy place.

I met this guy on Halloween night. Right off the bat this story sounds sketchy, because why would a girl meet up with a guy she's never met on Halloween night? Maybe I enjoyed the thrill it gave me- not knowing what to expect. For this story, we'll call him D. let me start from the beginning. I heard this new song on the radio mid-October. I fell in love with everything about the song. I wanted to find more music like it, so I looked up the band. Subscribed to them on Youtube. Their subscribers are low, for a band that's made it on the radio, so I do research. I go to their Instagram. Turns out the band is a local band that the radio station has reached out to. These guys have opened up for Bon Jovi, and have played at a well-known rock music festival in my town. I don't know what it was in me that made me want to do this. Whether it be my loneliness or curiosity, but I followed each of the band members on Instagram. I wasn't expecting them to follow back, but they did. They all did. One of the band members, D, the drummer, had messaged me a few moments later "Am I gonna see you at our show this weekend?" I didn't know what show he was talking about, but I played along anyway. "Wouldn't miss it." He was cute, but I can't lie; he wasn't the only cute one in the band. In the meanwhile, I end up messaging the lead singer... We'll call him E. He replies and we talk, but seems uninterested. I back off of him. We'll see E later in the story, though. It's nearing the end of the month of October and D and I are still chatting on Instagram. We haven't missed a day of speaking to one another. At this time, I've grown to really like this guy. The only problem is, well, we haven't met yet. Come Halloween night, he asks if I had plans. I did not. He knows I didn't want to be alone because I had told him the day before that I was hoping to have someone to make the night with. He jokingly suggests I come hang out with him. I make a serious turn in the conversation, and well.. To speed this story up a second, we meet up. We spend hours talking. The time disappearing into the night and it feels natural. I love his personality and instantly becomes attached to this guy. The night ended with sex. Is that wrong of me? Having sex with someone I had just met? But we clicked so well..

Fast forward to December. D and I are still talking, but we are not dating. Actually, at this point I dont know what we are. Just a thing, I guess. I finally make it out to one of their shows and he introduces me to all of his friends and the rest of his band. Remember E? I did. We stared at eachother like we have never seen the opposite sex before. He snaps out of it before I do, hugs me and tells me what a pleasure it is to have finally met me. Let's speed past this night. E texts me the next night, tells me how beautiful I looked. Of course it made my heart flutter. I did say that D and I were talking, but it wasn't everyday like it used to be. More like every 5 days, literally. I still like him alot, but at this point, I'm not actually sure he likes me that much or if he's just being nice to a fan. I crave attention from him, but don't want to annoy him. So I resort to texting E every other day. Our conversations were always brief, but always had this huge impact on one another. Just seeing eachothers name turned us on. Now it's January. I still talk to D. We still hang out and I still have this massive crush on him. We are at a talking stage where we arent dating, but we almost could be so I have to be respectful of him. Loyal to him, even if we arent together. I dont know if he is doing the same for me. but I also still talk to E, who takes away my sexual frustration. We hadn't done anything yet, but the way we talked about doing something was so next level. At this point, I just tell myself that nothing will really happen between D and I, because if he wanted me as badly as I wanted him then I still wouldn't be single. We'd be together by now, right? It's Sunday. D and I had plans to see eachother. It's 7 pm and D tells me he had something come up. Had to run errands for the band with the guitarist. Im disappointed and extremely sexually frustrated. E texts me. He has a hotel tonight that his second job paid for him on business. He invites me over. Tells me we're finally gonna quit barking and bite. We do. It was an amazing night. I was expecting him to be alot colder about us, because he is in a band and one night stands are supposed to be a thing rock stars do. But he showers me in kisses. Asks me to stay. He wants to cuddle me. He draws circles on my back with his fingers and talks deep conversations with me. Turns out E really likes me. Not just for the sex. He texts me everyday after that night. D and I talk, and we finally decide to see eachother a week later.. I dont realize how strong my affection is towards this guy until I'm finally around him. He's so magnetic. Every time im with him, i feel like I could stay in the moment with him for the rest of our life. Tonight, he tells me what I mean to him. He wants a relationship, but he doesnt want to rush into it because his ex really messed him up. He tells me that I'm perfect the way I am. He genuinely likes me. Oh no.. Did I mess this up? I misread the situation between us and slept with your bandmate! He doesnt know. The nights over. E texts me. He notices my feelings towards D and said he'll back off of me so that I can focus on D. E is such a great person. Im not... D still doesnt know that I slept with E. I know I have to tell him eventually, or it will come out later down the road and then I'm screwed. What do I do? How am I supposed to tell D what I did with E and when do I do it??

Im sorry for the long story, but i feel like it helps get an idea of the situation im in and how I got in it. Ask questions if you're curious to know more.