Hello there. I need a girl talk. I don’t have anyone to talk this about..

There’s this guy i know from internet. And we’ve been chatting for years.

It feels like we’re dating.. but we’re not. Because he doesn’t want an internet relationship.

Yet.. we talk to each other like we’re dating. Lots of sweet talk and fun :)

And yesterday, he was so cute and sweet.. he said “i want your love. Any you have, i want it all” this made me giggles and happy. And we’re joking and make fun of each other as usual.

And all of sudden, he deleted that messages, all the part he said he wants my love.

So i asked him why he do that.

He said he can’t do this anymore. He wants me yet it hurts him in the same time.. he said “all the love and sweet talks to you are real. But I can’t do this anymore. It hurts me”

Because we can’t be together.

I can’t go to his place because of financial problem. And he doesn’t want to come to my place as well. I never asked why, afraid i might asked too much.

I told him if he wants to stop this, it’s alright. Then he apologized and said he doesn’t want it. He loves me and he wants to still have the sweet talks. I forgave him.

But i feel bad.. I don’t want to hurt him. If we can’t be together, then what’s this all for.. So today i talk to him normally like i would to a friend. He said “this is torture, i want my girl back, stop being polite and normal” (normal me is like spongebob without all the holes)

And he just texted me “I don’t want to lose you”

I don’t know how to feel.. i dont want to hurt him. He’s precious to me, but we can’t be together and sweet talks will make him fall more in love and he’ll hurt more..

I don’t want to be selfish and keep him all to myself..

;_____;