So recap journey started June of 16 trying to get pregnant first year was more of a ehh kind of try but not really, no baby, 17 was a okay maybe have more sex and try to time it 18 was a okay bitch hold my beer this is gonna happen and then by October with STILL NO BABY I decided to see a dr. Got my day 3 labs done they were perfect said the dr. Did a few vaginal ultrasounds they showed I’m polycystic. 24 and 34 right and left. Okay 1 out of 3 sings for PCOS my insulin is on the higher ish side of normal. So I have been poked, poeded and violated. He jacked off in a cup and he’s got 80 million swimmer with 73%motility (40%+ is normal) and we are still waiting on the morphology. So here I am feeling like I don’t even know like it’s my fault and my body hates me and that I’m not good enough to be a mom and I don’t even know what to do. My mom just says it will happen in time and I wanna punch her. I love my mom and would never actually hurt her but still. I have some other medical problems but am in better health then recent years. I just fucking give up. I’m done. I’m so emotionally exhausted. I feel like I can’t see another negative test or pregnant lady. I have so much hate in my heart for them. The lady I work with now is pregnant and I just hate her so much. I’m so jealous and she wanted her baby she tried for a long time. I know what she went through but for fucks sake when is it my turn? When do I get to announce my pregnancy? When do I get to buy baby clothes and show off my creation. When do I get to sit down and tell my baby how much I wanted them? I’m so done.