Dear depression. 3rd time's a charm.

Christmas depression poster again here. You know, the one where the depression waited until after Christmas... I asked for a break. Just to get through the last few weeks of my pregnancy. You faded away into the background, chipping away a little bit at a time. And then last night you hit me so hard I cried until I couldn't breathe. I've barely slept and felt like I'm going to throw up, but nothing comes up. It's been hard enough bonding with my unborn Son because the pregnancy has been harder, and because I've been so busy with my 3 year old that I've not had time to just... Enjoy being pregnant. I'm beginning to think that's what you want. I've started to believe that I'll never bond with baby #2 the same way I did with my first. I feel like I'm failing. I feel emotionally empty. And I'm so tired, both physically and mentally. Please... I've not got much longer to go. I just need a reprieve.