This is going to be long so hold on tight. I got out of a 3 year relationship May of 2018, he didn’t move out of our apartment until the end of August. Our relationship had it’s rough patches but I still loved him with all my heart.. idk what happened when I broke up with him but I went crazy, don’t get my wrong I had a lot of fun, but looking back I can’t figure out what was going on in my head. I felt like I didn’t get any attention or affection from him and when I left I looked for that intensity and passion elsewhere. Because I was getting it, I didn’t feel the urgency in working things out with him. I loved him and wanted to be with him while still not REALLY knowing what I wanted. I was scared for our relationship to go back to how it was. In November him and I started working on things again, I wanted to but at the same time I was pushing him away, I felt off but didn’t know why. Then BAM I’m fucking pregnant. By a guy that I was sleeping with for maybe a month? We weren’t dating and we are COMPLETE POLAR OPPOSITES. So here I am now 13 weeks pregnant, living with a guy I love in a certain type of way bc he’s the father of my baby, but I don’t know if I actually want to be with him. I let him move in, all bc I want what is going to be best for my baby and I think that’s having both parents involved. But I feel like I’m making a mistake. Idk if it’s these damn pregnancy hormones tho.. they have me questioning everything I feel. He wants to be there to support the baby and I and it means so much, but I can barely stand to be around him sometimes. I have dreams about my ex constantly, vivid ones that are straight fucking with me. I still love him and want to be with him but he’s moved on and said when I got pregnant that if he had the balls the raise another mans child he would but he just can’t. The love we have for one another is still there and I just miss him so much it hurts. I feel so stuck, lost, and confused. My baby’s father has dropped everything and moved here to support us and like I said it means the world but I feel like bc of my underlying issues I’m not treating him with the love he deserves.. he loves the baby and I so much and I’m terrified of hurting him.. any advice/ stories are greatly appreciated