So when we first got together me and my now husband discussed having children. I told him that I have PCOS and I may never physically be able to have kids. But I shared my fear that ultimately idk if I could ever raise children with my mental challenges. So far I've been diagnosed bipolar and mild paranoid schizophrenic. I was told that I can, with time, get a handle on it. But I'm not confident that I'll ever be able to handle that level of stress. I may be content and okay eventually but adding a child just seems like it would be a mistake for me. I grew up with an abusive father and I now know what made him so crazy. Knowing what drove him to be so abusive and controlling makes me scared that I'll snap and be the same. I don't want to ruin my kid because I hit a low point again or go crazy while my husband is at work. I talked to my husband about it again about a day ago. I cried and told him I don't think I can ever give him a baby. He said he's completely fine with it. I just don't know how I feel about it. Being with him makes me want to be a family. Which is a desire that I didn't feel before him. So now he's fine and I'm not. I think I want a baby. But I'm terrified. I'm sorry I know this has been long. I'm just rambling. But my brain is running a million miles a minute.