My boyfriend of 1 year was married for 10 years.

He got married when he was 20 and she was 20 they was high school sweethearts. She died when she was 30 ( 9 months pregnant with their 1st child a boy ) she got hit by a drunk driver her and baby died on impact.

While, I know this is a sad story and all but i feel like my boyfriend isnt over her. Her pictures are up, some of her favorite knickknacks are all around their sons clothes are in this big memorial box on the wall. Which I dont understand because the baby wasnt born alive just token out the womb for the funeral was placed in her arms. I understand this is sad but it happened 6 years ago. I want to take our relationship further without constantly looking at the past. He still calls her his wife when he talks about her, him and his family talks about her all the time he prays for them every day at dinner. Like, and "my loving wife, I hope you and our beautiful boy are having a blast and waiting for me" like what? What happens when I die you wont wanna be with me? Like, idk. I just dont wanna love a man who's still obviously Inlove with a ghost, and his what if child.

How can I bring it up to him that he has to let her go? And bring the memories down or I'm moving on.

Update. I don't want him to "forget" her or them. He says HES ready to move HIS actions proves otherwise. Has you ever loved a man, and watched that Same man cry himself to sleep over a dead women? Have you ever watched the man you loved refuse to put your picture up in the house "because it disrespectful to his wife" who's dead have you ever been told "your so beautiful, my wife would had a similar dress" I dont mind him loving his dead wife, I mind that his dead wife is literally brought up every single second of the day. I mind, I cant sleep on the right side because it's her side, I mind the I cant wear blue because it reminds him of her, I mind the you cant touch that its hers, you cant smell that way its hers. I'll never measure up to her, I'll never be as skinny ill never be her because I'm not her.

It's not healthy, hes not healthy. I understand having pictures up, I dont understand why i cant be included why cant I be in his prayers. He wont let me drive anywhere past 8pm because that's when It happened.

I talk to him about it, he says he will always be inlove with her I accept that, but he wants to move forward and he has room for both of us but his actions dont match it.

Unless you been in this position dont judge, I was looking for actual advise.

When I tried to leave him, he begged me to stay, that he cared for me and to please not leave him he cant handle losing another woman.

I'm trying, I care and I love him. I what her memories to be apart of our family, I want her legacy to carry on with us, but I dont want to be drowned in her memory.

People are picking every thing apart.

He calls his child his what if. For instance what if he likes baseball, what if he likes to sing what if he like red what if he liked blue what if he like summer over winter.

Also, thank you all for the helpful comments. I was harsh in the middle first post because I didnt Express myself properly. I was tired frustrated and 29 weeks pregnant with twins and worked a 16 hour shift so I just kinda got on and ranted without taking the time to really release my feeling . I love him, I'm not leaving him. I think hes stuck in a loop most of this stuff started when I became pregnant. Especially me not wearing a certain color, using the perfume I'm been wearing since we dated. After I got home I notice he took all our pictures down and I went off on here instead of on him. I talked to him this morning after some sleep and asked him to please seek counseling. I'm not jealous of my boyfriends ex wife, I'm even naming our daughter after her to help keep her memory alive in our family. I'm just tired of the wish washy.

Like, I said he calls his son ( lost baby ) his what if child. He says that child will always be his what if so in the middle of ranting I didnt see the harm i can see how that looked wrong, but it's still my boyfriends what if son. I think my pregnancy is triggering him in a bad way. Before our pictures was up me him and his wife now he thinks its disrespectful pur of the blue that's what's frustrated me.