2019 i love u so far, keep this energy

So far 2019 has been really good to me. So good that I'm a paranoid mess and can't enjoy it for fear of it being ripped out from under me and terrified it'll give me just enough to make me.smile but not the bfp I want. Not by any means being ungrateful for the awesomeness that has happened but I'd trade it all for my bfp!!!