Trigger Warning

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@lobellaloves_jo ⭐️TRIGGER WARNING ⭐️ this was one of the first things I saw this morning. I checked my baby monitor, sat down with my 5 month old daughter and my coffee (that I still haven’t sipped yet) and this immediately caught my attention. I suffer with PPD and PPA, it was brought on 2.5 years ago when I had my first daughter. The first comment on this feed (that I could see) was a woman sharing about how she picked up a glass of wine after being sober for 7 years in the midst of her struggles - I also happen to have 7 years without a drink or a drug 〰️〰️ I would first like to thank @lobellaloves_jo for posting this. It is such an important subject to bring awareness to, for that was my biggest concern, the shame I felt for thinking I was the only one who felt this way. The guilt I bled because I wasn’t connecting with my daughter. The thought that if I could just have a drink or a drug, it would all go away - or better yet, I could end it and no longer have to feel at all. I had been sober for 5 years when my first baby was born and I had never wanted to use so badly than I did in the first 6 months of her life. Thankfully I was able to muster up the courage to get help, although it wasn’t easy without insurance and being a stay at home mom with no income of my own. I was able to find a state run facility willing to work with me and have been showing up for myself & my family ever since. My doctors told me it would probably come back worse with my second daughter and if it wasn’t for being proactive & knowing what to do after she was born I am certain it would have been. I still struggle. I still have days where I want to run away and I thank god everyday for the understanding that I don’t have to, no matter how I feel. This is exactly why I do what I do. For those who don’t have access to resources and how the facilities we do have are continuously dwindling due to budget cuts. You matter. You are important. You are not alone. And you are so loved by people who don’t even know your name. #mentalhealthawareness #sobermom #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #postpartumdepression #anxiety #suicideprevention #girlmom #alcohol #sober #recovery #transformtonirvana