Okay so heres the backstory:

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and living together for 5 months. So far our sex life has been pretty great, and we've explored a bit but the main issue is I never orgasm, like ever. I think this is an issue mostly just because I never really explored my own body (only got into toys in the past year because a friend suggested it would help get me to the O), and I know he feels bad that he cant make that happen for me.

Lately, he's been really into the idea of anal/pegging (he identifies as bi and im pan but we've only been with each other sexually) which I said I had no problem with, we even went to a store a while ago and got a harness and everything, but when we first used it he was obviously way more into it than I was, and he came super fast (lately he hasnt always been finishing when its just us). Since then, hes talked about doing it again but im hesitant because i feel like i get nothing out of it. And when it comes to oral, its definitely like 90/10 in terms of me giving versus recieving...

Since we tried pegging, we havent been together sexually. We've both been in the mood but he instead goes off and plays with his toy and tells me "to have fun and enjoy myself". I could understand if we were apart (like if i was at work or something), but we had spent the whole day together. It just makes me feel like he'd rather be alone than with me.

To top things off, theres been times where I fall asleep on the couch while we're watching tv and instead of waking me up so i can come upstairs and we csn sleep in the same bed, he goes upstairs by himself. When I wake up in the morning, I can tell that he obviously had masturbated while I was asleep.

To be clear, he's allowed to mastrubate, it's his body and it's a different sensation. It's just frustrating because I feel like I don't matter anymore.