Sophomore year of high school I lost my virginity, I lost it to a fuck boy🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ just a tip don’t do what I did.

At first it was just a booty call, and he strictly made it clear he didn’t want anything more than just sex.

I was okay with that because I wanted the same I just wanted to experience life to it’s fullest and I thought why not🤷🏼‍♀️

Him and I over the few weeks we were having sex we got closer intimately, like we would message each other occasionally, and we would talk about stuff that would happen at home, stuff that he didn’t want.

I was confused for awhile because he told me he didn’t want any of that mushy gushy shit. So when I addressed it this is what he said, “ I’m not sure why I’m opening up to you, I guess I’ve just gotten used to having you around, I see you as one of my best friends.” When he told me this I was in shock, in shock with the fact that he thought we were best friends, I felt the same about him.

I new I shouldn’t be feeling the way I did but, I loved him, even though we were both young I felt something that I hadn’t ever felt before. I could feel that he felt the same way.

Before I new it we weren’t just meeting up for sex anymore, he started taking me out on dates, he invited me over to his house to meet his parents, and he started asking me to go out with his friends. It almost felt like we were in a relationship l, a serious one, one that we both didn’t want.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into a year. A year with “ just sex” a year with dates, a year with honesty, a year with him was probably the best year in my life. I didn’t feel like a sex toy, I felt like his girlfriend.

So Monday’s, Wednesday’s, and Fridays were the days we meet up and have sex, Friday night was different from any other night that we had sex, it felt more compassionate, I felt him craving for me, and he took his time to please me. It was amazing.

After he looked and me and his eyes were sparkling, he looked at me and smiled then he said, “ I love you.” I looked at him shocked and said, “ what..” “ I said I love you, I’ve loved you from the moment we started having sex, I’ve fallen for you more and more everyday we spent together, I know we’re young, and adults would say we don’t know what love is, but I do, I know I love you.” I just stared at him, shocked that everything that was coming out of his mouth is what I wanted to hear for almost a year.

I leaped on top of him and just started to kiss him, I looked at him and said, “ I’ve been waiting for you to say those words for what seems a long time.” After that night we made it official, I was officially his girlfriend!

We dated throughout our junior year, we were technically dating for two years.

The summer of senior year was the year that I’ll never forget. I was pregnant. And I didn’t know how to tell him. I was afraid I would lose him, he wasn’t ready to be a father and I was bet ready to be a mother.

So I sat him down and told him I was pregnant, showed him the test and he just started crying, it wasn’t tears of joy either. He looked at me and walked out on me, he never called, texted or even looked at me, 3 weeks went by and I was 10weeks pregnant, I was so sad and under so much stress, because he wasn’t there for anything, he looked at me funny and broke my heart, he dumped me because he wasn’t ready to be a father, and he didn’t want a fat thing like me as a girlfriend😭😭

I went home that night a cried so much that I think I ran out of tears..

and few days went by and I felt a sharp pain in my tummy, I immediately looked at my mom and said, “ MOM THE BABY, WE NEED TO GO TO THE ER.” It turns out as soon as we got there I had a miscarriage, doctors said that the amount of stress wasn’t healthy for the baby so I miscarried...

it felt like a part of me died.. technically something did die inside of me

I was depressed for awhile, once the douche saw I was bet getting any bigger he called and asked what was going on, I told him everything, how I was broken, how I miscarried, I the stress of him made me miscarried, but it wasn’t completely his fault, it was mine too I shouldn’t thought about the baby.

He was speechless, and I heard him cry, he was crying because he realized that he wanted to be a father and he was going to call and apologize for everything, I told him, “ your too late, I don’t want you around, I don’t love you anymore, sorry isn’t going to cut it.” I hung up on him and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders, I finally told him how I felt..

I’m sharing this story because I know there are a lot of women out there who feel like they can’t over come something as big as a miscarriage, it’s hard I know trust me, but believe me you can conquer through it and start fresh in life!!