March 2018

I was a senior in high school. I had one friend, Brian. It’s funny because when I first met him I thought he was gay. He dressed so nicely. His style was Goodwill dad, and he made it work. Brian and I had one class together. We exchanged numbers and Snapchat. He became my best friend. I had another class with this Black male. (Race has no part in this) I thought he was cute... but I knew he was a player. I over heard him talking about some older woman who’d come to pick him up from school and etc he didn’t want to be with her or whatever. Well, one day he’s flirting with me and me being shy and reserved I was like... 😐 didn’t care that much. He got my Snapchat and I asked him like why he wanted my snap?? He said he wanted to be friends or talk or something and I was like okay... cool? Well he asked to hang out one day and we did. He came to my house and we watched Anime. He pretended to be into Anime like I was, it was obvious. (I wasn’t even into anime) anyways, we only kissed that time. I wasn’t really into him.. at all. Well fast forward to one night and I get drunk. I’m FaceTime my best friend, Brian. He’s worried about me. “Annie, can you even walk?” But then he’d say “You’re so beautiful, omg don’t show anything ahaha.” It was weird but I Ignored it. Well, the black guy wanted to come over again, but at 3am. I didn’t want to stay up but I did. I craved to have friends. He came over and ate Waffle House on my bed. He didn’t even ask me if I wanted any.. I didn’t but still. I couldn’t even walk. He insisted on sex and I told him no. I pushed him. He came back. I went limp. I told him I want to be bf/gf before we had sex (BECAUSE I KNEW HE WOULD JUST USE ME) WELL he raped me. He left. I called Brian and told him what happened and I bawled my eyes out. I cut myself. I was broken. It’s not the first time, not even the second time. It’s the fourth time I’ve been raped. I told my friends in that class and at first they were on my side but then they were on his. They’d talk to him and look back at me. One day he texted me and was like “what’s wrong?” I said “UM YOU RAPED ME “ he was like “oh, I’m sorry” I told him he had a little dick. I mean he did. I was so surprised because the stereotypical black man has a huge dick but he did.. not. I think the humor just makes me feel better... anyways. Thanks for letting me rant xx 💋