On December 22nd I found out I was pregnant.I am 26 and this was my first pregnancy and my fiancé and I were so excited.Monday morning I woke up and I was spotting.We went to the hospital and they did an ultrasound.The doctor came in and told me that there was no heartbeat.That the baby was supposed to be measuring at 12 weeks but he or she stopped growing at 9.I chose to get a d&c at first because I wasn’t passing any tissue or miscarrying like normal.They even sent a pregnant nurse in to take care of me and I made her leave because it made me start bawling all over again.

Yesterday night I was home alone and ended up calling an ambulance because I was in so much pain that it made me vomit and I was so dizzy that I couldn’t stand.Mist women who have labor pains end up leaving the hospital with a beautiful baby,but all I got was heartache.If anyone reading this has suffered the same thing my heart goes out to you.

This morning I had my d&c and while there’s no physical pain anymore,my heart is completely broken.

I unfollowed all the pregnant girls on my Facebook.I deleted all my <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">pregnancy apps</a> except for <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>.I just can’t see the belly pictures.

I don’t know if it’s postpartum depression or if it’s simply suffering from loss but I cannot stop crying.I miss rubbing my belly and knowing he or she is in there.I just feel empty and my baby is gone now and I don’t know what to do but cry.Anyone have advice on how to help the pain stop?