So basically I’m 18 and my fiancé is in the army. I went out to visit him for a couple weeks to go to the army ball up there, and obviously when you haven’t seen ya s/o you do a lot of “catchin up” iykwim. Anyways we rarely if ever use condoms, n we both like it better if he don’t pull out, but unlike all the times before, I ain’t take plan B after every couple of days of fuckin, n I know that wasn’t the smartest decision but all the hormones n shit fucks my skin up. N if I’m honest, I know ima spend the rest of my life with this boy so I wouldn’t have minded getting pregnant. N it’s not like we was tryin, but ya know.. so I took a test when I was w him n it came out negative, but I was getting some signs like throwing up all day for two days, peeing all the time, tired all the time, hella hungry, n hellaa in my feels. So I decided to wait two weeks before I took another test. I was four days late n I ain’t know for sure but I kinda figured I was pregnant. At first I thought I jus started my period, but i got home n saw stuff I never seen before so I saved it, washed the blood off it and looked at it for a while. Then I called my girl who just had a miscarriage like two months ago to ask if that’s what it was and she confirmed for me that it was a miscarriage. I never cried so hard in my fuckin life bruh. I honestly wanted to be pregnant. I feel like it’s one of my callings in life, to be a mom and I lost the first one before I could hold her. My heart still hurts so bad man. So I FaceTime my fiancé and now we both cryin and ion know, just everything feels wrong. I feel like we were supposed to be parents. He wants to be a dad so bad and he really really was hoping I was pregnant. He’s found some peace now after his initial grief through God, but I haven’t got that yet. I’m not angry, I just don’t understand. I know everything’s apart of His plan, but this shit hurts. So anyways I know it was real early, but I lost my babygirl January 31. (We jus feel like it was a girl btw)

Sorry it was long n all ova the place, prayers are welcome and appreciated 💕