Hey everyone,

I just wanted to share my story. I’ve never spoken on any kind of social media about my conversion and de-conversion from veganism until now.

I had just found out my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at 39 in November 2015. She never smoked, drank, or did drugs. At the time, my dad was mostly vegan and my aunt and uncle were too.

After talking to my aunt one day, she mentioned the documentary “Forks Over Knives” and suggested I watch it. So I did. That was my turning point. I really believed meat and animal bi-products caused cancer. I was sold. I was 22 years old.

I eliminated animal products and bi-products and only cheated once every few weeks at most, until I watched some YouTube videos by Gary Yurofsky about 4 months into it. My dad had mentioned it’s a lifestyle and it’s also to help animals, although he was only eating mostly vegan for dietary reasons, so that’s why I looked up animal rights.

I dove into the deep end. I became almost militant about animal rights. I was engaged to my now husband and it was so important to me, I almost felt I couldn’t stay with him if he wasn’t going to become vegan as well. I was also doubting my faith as a Christian. I thought God was cruel for allowing animal sacrifices.

Then I got angular cheilitis after 11 months. It’s like a chaffing and looks almost like cold sores in the corners of your mouth. You get it from iron and b12 deficiency.

At this point, I went from a size 8 to a size 4, and I couldn’t keep my weight no matter how much I tried. I was 117 lbs near the end, down from 139. I felt I looked more attractive being thinner and my confidence was great, but I felt like total garbage inside. I was exhausted, always felt bloated, and never satisfied after eating despite a lot of carbs, protein and oils to fatten up my meals. My gums weren’t as pink, the colour under my eyes were light pink instead of red, and my complexion was dull. I’m fair with freckles and I blush easily, but it’s like I lost colour.

So I gave it up. I thought, if humans were really meant to be vegan, we wouldn’t need to calculate our diet like an exact science just to meet our nutritional needs. And that’s what it became. I had to over-think what I ate, when I ate, and it controlled my life.

It became orthorexia. I was obsessed with eating healthy, and even if I had junk vegan food available to me, I would refuse to eat it out of fear of getting cancer.

I realized that the China Study I relied on had many flaws, and all the science I believed for veganism was really just a lot of skewed data and pseudo-science. 99% of scientists agreed with a standard diet, but I was dead set on listening to the 1% that believed in veganism because “Big pharma” and industrial farming, and all that crap. I can only say looking back, I feel I was brainwashed and delusional. It was like I joined a cult.

I always craved meat and fish after around 7 months into it. My mouths would water at the smell of chicken. I felt like I was starving myself even though my stomach was actually full.

I went full swing back into a standard diet. The first day I had eggs, the next day I had ground beef. I instantly felt better after eating the meat especially. It felt like I had a fresh blood transfusion or something. I could feel energy and blood rush back into my face and body. I felt totally satisfied after eating for the first time in almost a year.

I’m now back to my normal weight and I’m not obsessed with eating healthy anymore. I know if I have an occasional slice of pizza, I won’t die.

I know I’ll probably get a lot of backlash for this post. Just know this is my personal experience and I didn’t like or enjoy veganism. For those still eating vegan, I hope it goes well for you. But if it doesn’t, don’t be afraid to change. It’s not as hard and scary as it seems.