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To my babies...who aren't my babies..

M💓 • Sat, Feb 02 • Dog & cat mom 💞

I love you 2 beautiful souls more than anything. Your mom, my aunt, loves you too but she loves her addictions more. (She's been on coke and Adderall for 25 years and both her kids where born addicted to heroin) I know it's hard. I know it hurts who guys and you don't even realize. Last night she was arrested, for the the millionths time, and left you two alone in the motel room (at least it wasn't outside, like last time) when the police got you, Nikko you were screaming for me and Lee (my boyfriend) you begged the officer to bring you home (to me) but they had to follow protocol and bring you down to the station first. And when lee and I got to you at 1am, you were hyperventilating because you were crying so hard. That was my last straw. That was the last time i will allow your mother to hurt you. I have been raising you two in my house for almost a year now. But when your mom calls and depends you back. I have too. She has rights, you will always be her kids in the eyes of the law. Even though she ONLY wants you two back to use to con money out of a poor stranger who thinks its for baby food, or diapers...but it's not, it's for her drugs. And then when she's done she'll leave you guys back with me. I have reported to DYFS so many times, called the police so many tines. But they never do anything. You guys have been in the hospital almost dying because she never vaccined you and you guys get sick all the time. (Doesn't help that she brings you out in 20 degree weather.) Your mom is homeless, on drugs, has stolen from me for years before i caught on. All the 3am calls i got to come pick you guys up because she's high on drugs and got arrested. All the times she spent your diaper money on drugs, all the days you went hungry because she ate all your food. I could go on forever about the horrible things she's put you through, but i won't. I hate her, i hate her for the pain she puts you guys through, and she doesn't even care.

I've spent thousands of dollars on you guys, I've worked 60 hour weeks so i could pay my bills and provide for you guys. I hardly sleep, i miss out of weekend fun with friends. But i wouldn't change it for the world. Knowing you guys are safe, healthy, and loved is worth it all to me. To see you call my house your home, brings tears to me and Lee's eyes. To know that you, Nikko, can't sleep without us is a huge compliment. We make you feel safe and loved and that's all i wish for.

We've talked about it before and we are finally doing it, we are filing for custody. We work our ass off to provide for you two, and then your mother comes back and tears everything up, tells you we don't love you. He is almost 5 he knows what you say. He asked me last night "why did those bad cops take my mommy" and that is NOT okay. He needs to be in school, not homeless being used to collect money off strangers. They are beautiful happy souls who deserves a home. And that is why Lee and I have never been more confident in a decision. We are going to get you babies full time. We will give you the life you deserve. You already have a room here, you already call this home, but now we will make it official.

IT'S SO HARD but i know God put me in your lives for a reason, without us you two would be in foster care already, or worse.

We love you guys more than anything ❤️ always will

Nikko is 4 1/2 and Charlotte is 18 months