So we lost all rights to my stepson today...

*Just a note*

Me and my husband (yeah I know we're not actually married but... idc) would like to thank all of you ladies that have shown understanding and compassion, offered advice or offered an ear, my husband especially as there was some implying of something untoward. My husband would like to thank you ladies for lifting me back up when I felt the world was against me.

You ladies have given me hope that the female species aren't all catty, awful, judgemental bitches and I would love to be friends with all of you! For real though, from the bottom of my heart thank you 💖

I've never been made to feel more useless as a mother, than I have today and I have 4 angel babies. Thanks for the no support ladies. Thanks for putting a hold on me being a mum. Thanks for making me question myself.

Ladies I need to vent before I explode...

So my hubby's ex has his son, she stopped contact all year last year when we got together (purely out of spite)... this lasted for 9 months. In that time we watched his birthday go by, he graduated into "big boy" school, he had so many firsts. Now his and my hubby's bond is like something off a film, yano the little girl in Mrs doubtfire?.. just like that.

In July we moved back to his home town to start a fresh... he was convinced there was no point sticking around as she would never let us see him again..

September comes around and she's taken us to court. In the time between, she had made up false allegations of attempted abduction, she has failed to correspond on the wellbeing of his child... causing that much stress to my husband he had to seek medical help. But the judge sees that she is wrong and rules 2hrs a week and a facetime once a week. Amazing right?! We were so so happy and walked out of that court room with our heads held SO high. I would like to state that my husband works 60 hours a week as a bar manager, he has never been convicted of a crime, he has never been charged with a crime, he has never been reported as violent, he has never been a cause for concern. He is not an alcoholic or a drug user. Her new boyfriend was convicted for holding minors in his car against their will.

So from September to December, we travelled 450 miles a week, spending almost £100 a trip on top of £50 a week in maintenance. Last year we went through 5 cars, 1 accident, 4 chemical pregnancies so in January, finances have been less than admirable to say the least. (My Hubby earns £1200 a month, we have a house, pets and a car too) NOT THAT WE BEGRUDGE ANY OF GOING TO SEE MY STEPSON. But it was hard. Hubby's ex refused to change days or times or anything so the order that was given has been hard to stick to. Especially as the holiday season is the busiest season for anyone in the bar & restaurant industry, never mind being a manager.

We haven't eaten properly in over a week, our animals are fed but we are not. We haven't seen my stepson in 3 weeks, we haven't spoken to him either... today my mother in law (who IS an absolute saint) opened our letter to see that all access and contact had now been terminated. Even though there was just cause and reasoning we couldn't be there, she was unrelenting and unforgiving, even though we are starving so we could see him over the Christmas period and make it as special as we could... stopped... just like that. Like we are supposed to just forget and move on... how do we do that? How do we just forget about a kid we love? Is there no God?

UPDATE: My apologies. I didn't mean to miss out most of the story that was needed - it was all very fresh and I just found out. Let me just clarify. Our financial situation is recent. It's January, everybody is a little broke but we will get there, thanks for your concern. We've just had a bad month.

I will not rehome any of my animals. They are my children and I'm sorry but no.. I'll sell my body before I lose my animals too. The ring has been saved up for for the best part of a year. No it didn't cost too much, it was £400. But finances aside let me go into a bit more detail..

So my hubby's ex has sever paranoia and anxiety (she lives on the same road as school, but still drives him because she's scared). When they where together my hubby was made to sleep in a shed when they lived with her parents (because he farted too often in the house, I'm not lying.) When the baby was born he was not allowed to pick the baby up, feed or burp as his exs mother is a very controlling domineering woman and thought he was too clumsy (he isn't, he's as clumsy as everyone else). The baby was not allowed in their room, he slept with his exs mother. His ex is exactly the same. She will not compromise on visitation, she will not correspond with us in regards to the child and with hubby working rediculous hours recently, establishing his new post and undergoing training etc we kinda needed a tiny bit of leeway. My husband worked 100 hour weeks for most of their relationship as he was not welcome at home. The reason they split was because she was cheating on him for months while he was at work. Taking lover boy out on dates, spending his money on her fuck piece. Not to mention she had not slept with my husband in over years until they split up. Me and hubby where work collegues and very close friends before we got together and we spoke about it then, that was 3 years ago! The first time access was completely stopped was because he called her a dickhead after he attempted to ask her a question that she thought was for overnight access (which he was allowed until November last year) he was asking for a rearrangement in times, she shot him down as soon as he put "I've got a question" he replied with "it wasn't even about that ya dickhead" then bam. Nothing. Apparently he was aggressive in the messages. This is a woman that has lied repeatedly to the courts and then retracted what she said in front of the judge. The judge called her actions an abomination. ALL COURT REPORTS STATE THAT AFTER INVESTIGATION AND A RISK ASSESSMENT HE IS OF NO DANGER TO HIS CHILD. HE HAS NO CRIMINAL RECORD EITHER. We are not in a financial position to get a solicitor as of yet, but we are most certainly getting one as this fight is not over. We move away as it was necessary, we also thought it might give us an edge in court if I went there (at that point we didn't know it was 100% going that far) we thought we should be allowed at least overnight access.

Now I'm not saying we haven't done anything wrong... we should've budgeted better, we should have taken her seriously about court and we should have got a solicitor... but that opportunity has not been not in our grasp as of yet.

I just wanted to finish off by saying, I'm sorry for the women this post has offended and the ones that are convinced it's not true. But it is. I'd also like to say that this is one of the most unsupportive communities that I have ever been a part of. I posted on here to vent, not to be accused of lying. Again, I apologise for where my story was vague. But thank you to those rude people for commenting and ruining the remaining hope I had for a supportive, unjudging community. The fact is, I'm not a biological mum yet, but I have just had a child taken from me that I loved as my own.

Maybe I'm naive and maybe I'm silly but I thought us women stuck together? ALSO I SAID NOT EATEN PROPERLY - NOT THAT I'M STARVING TO DEATH.