I’m so ready.

I’m ready to accept the fact that i’ll probably never be a mom, & everyone around me will continue getting pregnant having gender reveals & baby showers, giving birth, while i just watch & continue to put a huge fake smile & act like i’m not dying inside. Right now i just want to cry. I want to keep crying until i can’t cry anymore until i’m just numb to this. If god knows the only thing i want in this world is to be a mother, then why? Why won’t it happen? I mean crack heads get pregnant, and yet some of us women who truly want it so bad CANT or it isn’t happening?!