Depression?

Question

I’ve had gender disappointment that hasn’t gone away the entire pregnancy and it’s made it really hard for me to be excited and bond. When I feel kicks instead of it making me happy I find it annoying. It’s making it a lot harder knowing I’ll have to go through this birthing process with all the pain when I’m not even excited. And to top it all off all I keep seeing are posts about little girls and baby girls and advertisements about baby girl things and I just wish I was having a girl. Play I feel terrible thar I feel this way. It’s just negativity al around and it won’t shake. How can I feel better? 😕

Answer

I’m sad to hear that you are feeling this way.  This is our fourth child and were convinced it was a boy and after 3 girls we were really hoping for a boy.  When we found out it was another girl we couldn’t believe it.  But we realized a baby no matter the gender is a gift from god and we are so excited to meet our precious baby (in 5 days).  I think once your baby boy is in your arms you will instantly fall in love with him!

Answer

I agree with the above, but another idea might be: don’t tell yourself that you “should” feel anything. You don’t need the pressure on yourself right now. What if you just allow yourself to have all these feelings and just say okay I’ll be open when we meet? Even then- think of falling in love - sometimes it’s instant sometimes it takes awhile. Sending you hugs

Answer

For your own sake I think it’s important to actively fight against this. We all have negative feelings whether that be work, school or family related. Important thing is you recognize how you’re feeling and want to get out of this rut. This is your first proactive step. I feel like you can overcome this but it’ll just take work. The mind can be conditioned and I’m sure once you hold your child you’ll feel it.

Answer

I feel a little ashamed to say I was a bit disappointed when I learned I was having a boy. I already have a girl I really wanted her to have a sister since I never had one
I imagined them to be best friends and dressed the same, they will be 18 months apart.
Convenience too... I had all the clothes and all the pink things and girly stuff ready.
Some days I still feel sad my girl will never have a sister.
But this will be a new adventure for us and as a second time mam I know.tge feeling when the baby is placed in your arms... I'm sure you will feel the love and connection too xx

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Aaaaand if you have a daughter next, she will have a big brother who looks out for her !

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I think you’re really brave for posting this. I cried all day when I found out I was having a boy and I also felt like I couldn’t tell anyone about my feelings because I’d be told I was ungrateful (people love telling women that they should just be grateful for everything, no matter what). 
I also never envisioned myself having more than one child so the idea of “just keep having kids until you get what you want” isn’t a comfort. If anything I find that really irresponsible.
What has made me feel better is recognizing that there are so many possibilities for this baby beyond their gender - beyond what I can imagine. I was making myself miserable by limiting myself to imagining other people’s relationships with their sons and the way that other people’s boys are. 
You don’t have to buy into all of the boy stuff and you don’t have to feel guilty. Just because you’re not doing interpretive dance to Savage Garden’s “I Knew I Loved You” at this point doesn’t mean that that your relationship with your son won’t be personal, and complicated, and yours eventually. Give yourself the time to see what it is.

Answer

With my first I was so disappointed that he was a boy when I really wanted a girl. Even after birth I didn't feel the instant connection people spoke of.
I knew what i was feeling was normal and i just couldn't give up. This little guy was relying on me for everything. Within a couple of months I had my motherly instincts and had that connection with my son. 
He's still my favorite person in the world, even after my daughter was born.  Of course I love her to death and would do anything for her!  But he's my first born, and nothing can change that gift he gave me of motherhood ❤

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Boys love their mommies so much. You'll feel differently once you see him, sometimes bonding happens strongly after you see your baby delivered.

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Talk to your doctor! They can help you and help prevent you spiraling into a post party depression. I understand the disappointment, I wanted a boy first time and was disappointed when they said it was a girl, but at the end of the day that’s your baby and they didn’t do anything wrong by being who they are. Go address it with your doctor so they can help you through it.

Answer

I just had a mini meltdown about not being excited. I’ve have a really rough pregnancy (FTM) and this should be the most exciting time right? I haven’t felt an ounce of excitement because I’ve been so miserable for 9 months with one thing after another. I’m terrified of developing post partum depression too.

Depression?

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