PSA: This is just my rant and how I feel. Suggestions are greatly appreciated but please don’t assume that I am not trying. I am not venting to seek pity or attention. I just have no other way to let out my frustration with myself. Thank you.

I am currently extremely depressed because of my PCOS. I feel hideous and I’m so bitter that I am not normal like other girls. My hair growth is atrocious. Being Hispanic my hair is already thick and all over but I feel like pcos makes it worse. I have it in my elbows, my face, my neck,my butt, just everywhere. And it’s dark. Super dark, which is emphasized by my pale skin. I have tried everything to keep it controlled but I can’t. It all grows back the next day. And I break out with acne because my skin is so sensitive. I cannot afford any advanced methods of hair removal such as laser and electrolysis. I have embarrassing dark patches of skin and I’m morbidly obese. I’m also very prone to infections and I live in a constant state of pain and misery that seems to have no solution. The doctor gave me birth control and metformin to attempt to control the symptoms but they did not work well with my 350 mg of iron that I take daily for my anemia. It just made me nauseous to the point where I couldn’t eat or sleep and had to Be hospitalized. My doctor also insists that my testosterone levels are normal.But I honestly don’t know anymore. And the pain I constantly feel in my lower stomach and back is sometimes so awful that I don’t want to get out of bed. I just want to look normal. I want to feel pretty and I want to be feminine. I want to know what it’s like to be like other teenage girls that get to wear bathing suits and be soft and have beautiful hair and that can eat whatever they want. I want to know what it’s like to be able to wear makeup without it looking streaky due to all the hair. I want to know what it’s like to go into a store and pick out anything and it fit. I want to know what it’s like to be sexually confident. I just want to be happy.