Do or would you raise your kids like your parents/guardian raised you? Why?

Question

I was raised strictly. My mom would beat me and my brothers and make us stand against the wall while holding heavy textbooks for the not doing what she wanted. The beatings stopped after I turned a certain age. The last beating I got she left a scar on my thigh and I think that’s why she stopped. 
But I know for a fact I would never do this to my child. 
So I’m curious if you would raise you kid like you  were?

Answer

Hell. To. The. No. 
God no. 
I would like to be completely different with my child. More communication less corporal punishment. More of “I understand you” rather than “I’m the mom and what I say goes” obviously I’m not trying to a “friend” but they will be their own people, with their own ideas and personality. I want my child to know they can come to me for whatever , no matter how embarrassing   I didn’t have that- I don’t blame my mother either , but the cycle gotta change

Answer

No. I love my mom but she insisted on having things her way to the point that i felt unable to express my personality and felt that she would be disappointed if she knew "the real me". She raised us in a very religious home as well. I think her religion got in the way of her being the parent I needed and clouded her vision on what it meant to be a good parent. I do thank her for many things but I want to raise my daughter in a way that will allow her to be who she is with no fear.

Answer

I was lucky enough that my parents raised both my brother and I really well. They were firm in what they wanted for and from us but at the same time where very realistic parents and they made themselves available to us to admit when we felt we had done something wrong or were in trouble because they perfected us being able to tell them over us keeping secrets, I’d like to raise my kids the way they raised me, although I don’t want to let my kids play as much video games as they let us 😂

Answer

My mother did nothing but show me how NOT to be a mother. Because of her failures as a parent, I’ve learned lessons and grew stronger. Because of her, my children will never question my love for them, and I’m thankful for that ❤️
I was raised very strict too, not allowed to go to school games, dances, prom because it’s “just an excuse for teens to get drunk and have sex”. I was my mother’s worst enemy, the “devil child” as she called me. I was mouthy and had an attitude to back it up, and she was impatient and incapable of controlling her emotions. She was mentally unstable (bipolar and a million other things) and I feel she never quite got her mind back. I was the result of a failed marriage at age 20, my father being a verbally abusive alcoholic in & out of jail my whole life. I feel my mother always hated me because I was a spitting image of him. She was never there for me emotionally, always turned situations into my fault, and plain didn’t listen to me. I was never good enough, and my two younger sisters were so much better than I and I was shrugged off to the side. I was always the culprit, always the problem. I spent a good amount of time in juvenile detention centers and she almost sent me off to girls school. She literally told the judge when I was 16 years old that she “didn’t want me” to come home. I moved out at 17 and never looked back. I’m almost 27 now, have two children that have no idea their grandmother exists, and I don’t regret it one bit. 
It angers and saddens me to think about it all. I look at my two boys (soon to be three) & I know in my heart that I’ll NEVER treat them the way I was treated. No matter how bad they are, they’re still my children and I’ll never abandon them the way I was.❤️

Answer

Yes... my parents raised me to respect and taught me to earn a living and everything I’ve got... I rarely got spanked... it was the last resort and I’m sure I needed them (don’t remember but one) my dad wasn’t in the picture much but my mom was and is an amazing women... I’ve always tried to reach my kids manners, respect, and morals and I hope they turn out like my husband and I and are successful adults like we are.

Answer

My mom left me at the pediatrician’s office because at age 12 I wanted to be alone with my doctor to ask questions about puberty etc. My other sibling had to beg her to turn the car back around and pick me up (I was left there for about an hour and remember feeling like I did something wrong) 
One day I forgot to put deodorant on and she told me I stunk and that nobody would want to dance with me (I was looking forward to going to my first school dance up until that point) I lost my confidence and decided not to go. 
Guilt and manipulation was her go-to whenever she wanted control. Financial abuse came later as another way to control me as a young adult ( letting bills default or come close to it if I didn’t do what she wanted) I know there’s no handbook on how to parent, but I’m pretty sure she failed me as a mother. She taught me what not to do and I will be opposite in every way. I had low self esteem for years because of her strange fixation on me (not my other siblings) My children will never feel as unloved, worthless, or stupid as I have.

Answer

I think while both my parents had their flaws my dad was still for the most part a pretty great dad and he tried his best with us, but my biological mom and my step mom both had really ridiculous, awful, and aggressive ways of parenting and I'm very excited to be exactly the opposite of how they were. I am 100% for gentle parenting, forgiveness, and putting my children first.

Answer

My mother did a fantastic job of raising my younger sister and myself. I would absolutely use the principles she instilled in us to raise my children, with a few modern upgrades. (I was raised in the 80s)

Answer

Nope. My moms an asshole. She verbally abused me my entire life and still does now. I can't ask her a question about anything without the response being "you're such and such years old you should know" or "go figure it out on your own". I loathe my "mom" I never want to be like her and I don't even know if I want my future kids to ever be alone with her.

Answer

Generally yes except I will be much more open in conversation about bodies, gender, sexuality, consent, bodily autonomy, etc.

Do or would you raise your kids like your parents/guardian raised you? Why?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey