Divorcing... Deeply sad... please help

Hi dear Glow community,

I’d like to thank you in advance for your support. And apologize for the long message.

I’ve been married for 2 years and almost 2 months. This is my second marriage and I really wanted it to be the last, I dreamed of a family with him, I home, a forever happy life but it’s not happening.

We had a very difficult first year and the second one got better but still the fights were a constant. I tried, I know he tried but we just keep offending each other and the last straw came last Wednesday when I (for the 5th or 6th time) questioned his sexuality (my husband’s sex drive dropped to almost zero since we got engaged and when we have sex it just feels like he’s doing a chore). He got furious, he ripped his clothes off and bit my face a bit (very strange but it did happen) he screamed and yelled he’s not gay but based on our sex life and texts messages he’s been exchanging with a gay guy i never heard of I was convinced. So I told him I was done.

But you know when you still think you’ll come home the next day and talk it through? It’s always like that for us and I thought this time with be the same but when I got home he was gone, he took his golf clubs and all his beach clothes and left. No note, nothing. Today I found out he left a hidden camera in the apartment.

I know this is all really big trouble and that I should not want to see him again as he apparently doesn’t want to see me but... I’m having a REALLY hard time letting it go, my heart is really hurting and I feel like I can’t make it. I’m dying inside.

What do I do?