From the time infants are six months to two years of age, they form an attachment style that leads to subconscious adult behavior.

Research has shown that it is not necessarily how bad someone’s childhood was that impacts attachment between parent and child, but how much they’ve been able to make sense out of and feel the full pain of their past, creating a coherent narrative. The better able someone is to resolve trauma and conflict from their early lives, the better able they will be to form a secure attachment with their child.

As you get older and more self-aware, you can form a secure attachment style if you are not yet.

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Secure, consistent love = Secure Attachment 🌟

These are people who entered this world in a healthy environment. You felt safe, soothed and seen.

Emotionally unavailable = Avoidant Attachment

Your parents did not encourage crying and wanted you to be a more independent kid, but this made you feel neglect. It forced you to grow up fast and pull away from feeling comfortable needing anyone else.

Bipolar: Cold vs Kind = Anxious Attachment

At times your parents’ responses are appropriate and nurturing but at other times they are intrusive and insensitive. Children with this kind of parenting are confused and insecure, not knowing what type of treatment to expect. However, you still felt clingy and desperate for their love.

Abusive (mental/physical) = Disorganized Attachment

Your infant survival instincts are telling you to flee to safety but safety is the very person who is terrifying you. You learn to detach the abuse.