Is it ok to have a personal savings stash when yours SO can’t afford to have one when you’re saving for a home together?

Question

My SO and I are saving to buy a house, and we have a joint saving account. I have my own bank account and so does he, and I have my own person savings stash. 
He
Recently started a new career as a commercial real estate agent and hasn’t been able to contribute as much financially as he’d like and the majority of the bills are up to me to cover.  Needless to say he hardly evert has extra money for himself.
Do you think it’s wrong for me to have a personal stash to spend on whatever I want, or should I be throwing everything into the house find?

Answer

I don’t think it’s wrong. I think it’s financially smart.

Answer

Well I mean you are blatantly lying. I do think it’s wrong. If I was struggling to make ends meet and I found out my husband had a secret stash I’d be beyond irritated. I have my own bank account yes but if my husband was barely scraping by to start his new career I’d gladly pitch him so he could maintain a certain quality of life. I honestly don’t think you sound very supportive of this new career. My husband sold everything 10 years ago to start his first business. I paid for everything for 2 years so he could make it happen. I just feel like that’s what you do to support your spouse. Not hid money for your secret shopping trips.

Answer

Accidentally clicked its wrong (that’s what happens when you’re 36 weeks pregnant and stuffing a chicken sandwich in your mouth 😂). My SO and I are currently buying a new home and I have my own savings acct that’s more than his. We don’t have any issues regarding this. What makes you feel there’s something wrong to it?

Answer

This is similar w my husband and I but he knows how much I have. And my own saved $ is my own $. I love him and hope to be married forever but would I EVER put my financial situation in someone elses hands over my own..? No fucking way. Even on glow there are soo many unhappy married women who cant leave because they dont have their own $, its sad.

Answer

No it’s your money

Answer

No, it’s not wrong. What I think is wrong is hiding finances from him. Tell him you want to continue with it because you want savings other than for your deposit

Answer

Legally I do not believe you should buy unless married. The only reason is that everything then is 50/50 if things go south. Also you would both have to be on the mortgage. If he just started a job this will be very difficult to prove 2 years worth of income. If you are solely on the mortgage he is not legally able to put money towards a down payment without it being taxed as a gift. Just some food for thought.

Answer

We both have our own savings account plus our joint account. Most of our money goes to our joint account but we both keep $250 plus whatever we need to cover insurance, union fees etc that come out of our accounts automatically. He has more savings than me from before our marriage. It’s for emergencies and he’s talked about it being a house deposit. Lately now it’s also earmarked for when I’m on maternity leave (if needed).

Answer

I meant no you're fine. It's never a bad idea to have a personal savings just in case of anything. Or to spend how you want.

Answer

I mean my MIL does this, but she uses her savings PURELY as emergency funds or for investments. Like, they're building their own house and my FIL was dropping $1000s on renting one of those big construction diggers (can't think of what they're called 😂) and bulldozer. When he found one for sale that would basically pay for itself in three days, my MIL wrote a check for it from her account. She doesn't use it for herself, except for funding her business (she raises GSDs, that's not what this is about though). If they're short on a bill, she'll write a check from that account. My FIL never knows just how much money there is, because he WILL find ways to spend it unnecessarily.

Is it ok to have a personal savings stash when yours SO can’t afford to have one when you’re saving for a home together?

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