so before you read, this is basically about my love life. and it’s pretty long and this is me ranting ( ´Д`)y━･~~

I’m in 8th grade and there’s this boy I like. Not unusual right?

So I’m one of those girls who always has at least one or two people liking them at the same time. I guess you can call it a “boy magnet”

Anyways, a boy who I like used to like me. And I wasn’t sure if I liked him back during the period of time when he did like me.

I have his number and all but we don’t talk as much as we used too in 7th grade.

I send him random texts sometimes like “oh I see you lol” or something like that but I get no response.

I sent a Happy New Years text and he responded but we only sent around 10-15 texts before he said he had to go.

But before I move on, I partially know it’s my fault. I didn’t know what to do and it’s my fault. I’ve had other boys like me and all and I’ve had a slight crush on them when I figured out, but not like the boy I like now.

My friends sometimes joke and say “Ooh you’re the heartbreaker cuz you break hearts just like (my crush)”

It hurts a little to hear that but I know it’s kinda my fault.

My friend that is a boy that was ex-friends with my crush doesn’t particularly like him but he knows that he used to like me. Whenever I mention him he fake gags and says negative stuff about him.

He usually says “Ugh he’s so gross and disgusting.” But I reply as that (my crush) is okay and he isn’t bad.

But my main point is about today.

Today our PE unit is about ballroom dancing. Terrible am I right?

Basically, the girls rotate counterclockwise to move to another partner after finishing the dance.

Today we were working on the steps and I was practicing with my current partner. My PE teachers says to switch partners and sure enough...

my freaking crush is next

And it was hella awkward.

I had to hold his hand and put my other hand on his shoulder and do the step movements.

I’m pretty sure I was shaking the whole time and when my PE teacher said to switch again I sped away.

My hands were so freaking sweaty you wouldn’t believe how nervous I was.

My friend that doesn’t like (my crush) saw me dancing with him so after PE he swarmed me with a bunch of question on how close we were and how was his hands(?)

but....

there’s this other person.

He likes me.... And he’s been liking me since kindergarten he says.

I mean I have his phone number and all but he’s so open to say that he likes and loves me.

He’s dated people before but he says that I’ve always been on the back of his mind.

My parents are really strict and all about boyfriends and stuff. I don’t really tell them stuff so they assume that’s I’m just not interested in that right now.

But he said that if my parents would let me date, would I go out with him. My answer was a simple “i dunno”

But when I first got his number he felt so... clingy? Like he would send random texts and often type and send them again. But after a while it stopped but it comes back sometimes.

He’s a really good person but I just don’t really feel the same way he does.

I guess I’m just afraid I’m going to hurt him.

I haven’t said anything yet and both (him and my crush) aren’t really talking to me anymore so...

I just don’t really know what to do.

thanks for reading my rant if you made it all the way through. :)

-todo