Devastated 😖😭

after so much trying to convince my SO to have his sperm tested, he finally agreed. He said to me that he should not have any problem as he had initiated over 6 pregnancies ( with other women, including his young years) with 4 childs alive, which youngest one is 16 years old. Well, after talking to him so much abt how important it was in our TTC journey to have us both tested, we went yesterday to the clinic to have his sperm tested. To our surprise, and to even Doctor's surprise they found zero spermatozoon in his semen. I've been with this man for 2 1/2 years now, since I was 41 and 10mth old ( we all know months old matters when trying to conceive over 40) 44 2 month now. I have a whole mix of feelings from feeling betrayed to totally angry even at myself. He told the doctor in front of me yestersay he did not have a vasectomy or anything to prevent him getting me pregnant. I'm not 100% on this subject, but him having 4 childs, the only way he could not have sperm now it's through a vasectomy. He not only lied to me, but also played with my dreams of becoming a mom. My time is up, and he had done so wrong by trying to hide from me such a truth. I don't know exactly how to handle this situation. The doctor said to have another test done plus examining him. I just don't know what to do next, or how to approach him abt this. I want to die. This is not only abt me becoming pregnant but also a relationship that is totally based on lies.