Body autonomy - At what age?

Question

It goes without saying that (most) people in the world believe “my body, my choice”. 
But my question is, at what age do you feel that one has a right to body autonomy? 
What would be the limitations?

Accepted Answer

I think every age deserves bodily autonomy as long as it doesn’t interfere with their health or safety. So for my toddler? Diaper changes and doctors visits are non-negotiable (though even then, we talk about it. “Lili it’s time to change your diaper” or “Lili the doctor is going to listen to your heart”). Her choice in clothes, whether she hugs or kisses someone, whether we help her or not with tasks we know she can do... all that is up to her. Her body, her choice. And no means no.

Answer

Really good question! 
I think it depends also on the particular subject. For example- your 11 year old wants a piercing or tattoo. That’s something their brains aren’t able to fully process the consequences of so parents should have final say. But if your 11 year says they don’t want to hug or be touched by that stranger, that’s absolutely the child’s choice.  The different portions of the brain come to full development at different ages and it varies with boys and girls. I think you have to gauge your own child to know what decisions they’re competent to make at each age.

Answer

Honestly, I’m a from birth. You are your own person from the time you are born until you die. Now that being said, yes there will be times when a need (butt changes, medical decisions) the choice will be made for my child. But once they are old enough to have a say in what goes on around them, yes their choice. I might not always agree and will always offer choices instead of orders. I don’t play the “My house, my rules” stuff because that’s entirely unfair to the child who didn’t ask to be here. If my child (and I use child for the ages of infancy to pre-teen) wants to have purple hair, sure. I’ll take them to my friend who does hair and let them do it. It’s hair, it’ll grow/wash out. For teenagers, same thing, options, offer ideas but let them feel like they are respected members of the household.

Answer

Interestingly my mom said I was very reserved with being naked from a very young age. She says 2. She said she recognized that early that I did not want to change in front of people I didn’t know (ex: swimming pool change rooms) I find it interesting because my son is almost 2 and would sit naked spread eagle in front of anyone. I don’t even change my sons diaper in front of people. But I think I’ll just go off of his cues. I think every child is different and so is ever parenting situation. My mom felt I understood at 2.

Answer

When it comes to hygiene and the child can't, or won't, properly care for themselves they don't have a choice and the caregiver has to do what needs to be done. (whipping, bathing, brushing hair etc) 
When it comes to physical contact that they don't like (tickling, hugging, kissing etc) they have the right to say no and have their choice respected at all ages.

Answer

I think as early as possible. A child's body is their own and they should be aware of that. 
Nappy changes, getting dressed and washing my 10 month olds face were such a drama. But I found if I let him know what I'm going to do first rather than just strip him naked he's ok with it usually. I even let him choose his cloth nappy and then he doesn't cry when I put it on.
It would be the same if it was an elderly person who needed a carer. You would tell them you were going to give them a bath or change their pads or whatever first wouldn't you? So it should be the same with a baby.
If my son doesn't want to kiss people hello or have his hair cut then that's cool with me. I had zero body autonomy growing up and it sucked.

Answer

It’s definitely an age, and situation dependence. My 7 year old has started changing in the bathroom for privacy. She never cared up until a couple weeks ago. My toddler hates her diaper changed, but if you have a stinky in there, your ass is getting changed. 
I also think when it comes to affection that it is completely up to a child at all times. Now, an infant can’t really voice their want to be kissed, or not, but it doesn’t take them long to learn how to voice it. My toddler is very affectionate, but sometimes will just lean her head in if she’s asked for a kiss. She’s never been made to kiss on the lips, and never will be. This is how she showed us, and it gets respected.

Answer

When you are born i think when it comes to vaccinations, your parents get that choice. Apart from that, it’s your choice.

Answer

Well. If my toddler is saying no to something like a diaper change, then no. But if that same toddler doesn’t want to hug someone, then I wouldn’t push it. 
I think it depends on situations.

Answer

When your child can give themselves basic care and keep good hygiene is the point when we as their parents should start letting them bathe, get dressed, use the bathroom etc. alone.  We should always be giving them the option to pick out their outfits as that is a way to self expression. Now as for piercings and tattoos every parent has their own opinions but I personally feel like before a child is of legal age they shouldn’t make potential live altering decisions. I regret decisions I made in my teens and even now I question my own judgment sometimes. 🤷‍♀️

Body autonomy - At what age?

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