Falling out of love? 😞

Question

My husband and I had our twins 2 months ago, we’ve been together for 5 years and are married for 1 year. We’re both 24, bought a house 2 years ago. Ever since our twins came, I feel like I’m falling out of love with my husband more and more as time goes on. Our communication has always been great throughout our relationship but for some reason I can’t seem to communicate with him about this because I just have sooo many mixed feelings. Idk what to do 😕

Answer

Get away from those babies! We love our babies to the detriment of our spouse sometimes. Give the babies up for a night. Go out, have a night refocused on the two of you. Emmy husband and I made sure we had at least one date night a month, usually 2. I cannot stress enough how important this was for our marriage

Answer

Feelings can be very fleeting or unpredictable and while it’s important to examine and acknowledge feelings it’s also important not to give them too much weight. Two months with twins seems so much and so new and of course that’s going to take so much physical and emotional energy. Please give yourself and your partner some grace during this time. And absolutely give yourself time to connect. But they might mean giving yourself time and attention too so you have the ability to do that with him

Answer

I felt this way after my son was born. It went away after about 4 months. For me it was that I was constantly tired and felt under appreciated and that nothing was fair. I feel bad that I felt that way, but it was nothing more than a phase because of the drastic new change in our life. Things needed to level out again. Try giving it some time.

Answer

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Do you have family around that could watch your twins while you guys go to dinner? I think what you’re feeling is common. My husband and I had been together for 11 years married 5 when we had our first. It almost broke us, it was a very difficult transition and a lot more difficult than we had anticipated. Take some time to talk to him when the babes are sleeping if you can. Good luck to you guys!

Answer

Fun date night? Maybe you just need some time away from the babies. When I had my baby I was feeling all over the place about everything.

Answer

I’d recommend seeing a couple’s counselor. New babies are a huge source of stress, and they can make little annoyances with your partner feel huge and overwhelming. My husband and I started seeing a therapist together midway through my pregnancy because several people we trusted said it was the thing they most wish they’d done for themselves. (My in-laws said they fought more in the first six weeks after their first child was born than they had in the six YEARS before that.) Remember that therapy doesn’t mean your relationship is bad or broken or headed for divorce! It’s just a tool to help you improve your relationship. My husband and I are so grateful for the work we got to do before our baby was born, and we’re looking forward to continuing that work together.

Answer

Spend some time with JUST your husband and focus on getting a little more self care time too. The first year after you have a baby or babies is the hardest adjustment period. Give it time your hormones ARE wrecked for like MONTHS after having babies. If you are using a hormonal birth control consider switching it can make you so miserable. I had some post partum depression and a ton of resentment towards my husband. I now take a daily magnesium tablet and vitamin B complex and use non hormonal birth control and we make more time for each other. It has made a world of difference.

Falling out of love? 😞

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