So this has been an insane first month of TTC so far. I got my implanon removed at the end of January, ans I was on my period at the time of removal. I’ve been calculating my cycle based on the period I had in December and the period in January. I started taking opks on CD7 and had consistently no positives or progression, and, for the most part, no CM.

I never thought I would be this stressed out after such a short time TTC. Every day Glow would tell me “oh it’s time to make a baby!” and I felt like my body was betraying me with every negative opk and every check of sub-optimal CM. (Currently CD20)

Before I actually started trying, I thought “I’m 23. My parents and my husbands parents had accidental pregnancies. Of course I’m fertile! I know there’s a chance I’m not, but I probably am. Getting pregnant will be easy!”

Dealing with the fact that this reality I had created isn’t true has been so much harder than I imagined. I have no idea if I’ll ovulate this month or any month. I have no idea if I can conceive. I know nothing about my own chances.

As someone prone to obsessive thought spirals, all of this is constantly at the front of my mind. I’ve let it spiral out of control and drive my crazy and now I’m trying to get it together. Mindfulness, exercise, less fantasizing about babies. Any other tips?

Sorry for the insanely long post. I needed to get this all off my chest. I know what I’m going through is nothing compared to people who have been trying for years. I can’t imagine the strength of all of you who have struggled longer and harder. My heart truly goes out to everyone feeling rough, stressed, sad and angry about TTC. ❤️

Thank you for reading ❤️