My friend thinks I should take care of a newborn while drunk?

So let me start off with I do not by any means expect my friend to change her plans around for me.

But we were talking about her bachelorette party this morning and she asked if I’d be able to drink after giving birth...I said yes as long as I “pump and dump”. For some reason she thinks I NEED to be wasted at her bachelorette party so she refuses to have it while I’m pregnant. Whatever, fine. She lives up the road from me so I figured drunk bachelorette party meant going to her favorite local bars and having a fun night out, so I said I’d probably be able to go if it’s like two weeks after I have the baby.

She ends up planning a weekend long trip at a beach house Airbnb 2 hours away from home one week after my due date with the expectation that I’ll be able to go because “I can drink right after baby’s born”. So she moved her plans around for me (originally was thinking of having it a month earlier) and now I’m a little irritated and stuck because:

1. I’m not bringing a 5 day old baby on a two day trip two hours from home. We need a routine right away.

2. I’m not leaving my newborn baby to go party on the beach while I still might be in adult diapers due to stitches

3. She said “bring the baby” but my husband isn’t invited (and why would he wanna stay at a beach house with 7 drunk girls just to watch our baby), so she expects me to GET WASTED AND THEN TAKE CARE OF MY NEWBORN BABY WHILE DRUNK?

4. I don’t know half the people coming - like are they vaccinated? Are there germs at this stranger’s airbnb house we’re staying at?

5. How is a baby supposed to be able to sleep with 7 screaming drunk girls up until 4 am?

I’m just honestly in shock about her expectations. I don’t understand why she refuses to plan it while I’m still pregnant- why does she care so much if I’m not drinking? Free DD right?

This isn’t the first time she’s crossed some lines with my pregnancy. We didn’t want to tell her right away because she has a big mouth and told some other friends after I had a miscarriage in 2018 when I specifically asked her not to. So when I got pregnant she knew because I wasn’t drinking, and basically cornered me with questions about TTC until I caved and told her way before I would have liked to at 9 weeks. I know, I’m weak, but I’m a terrible liar.

At this point I’m ready to just leave the friendship. I love her but this isn’t someone I want around my baby if she thinks it’s okay to take care of an infant while intoxicated. I think we’re just at different points in our lives.

Thank you for reading if you’re still with me, any advice on how to handle this? I know I should just be straight up with her but she’s so so pushy and I always end up backing down and doing what she wants. Obviously in this scenario that can’t be the case. Thank you in advance ❤️