And while I will never ever let on go anybody, I am so so upset. When I told people about this baby their immediate response is ‘I bet you want a girl this time’ and while the honest answer is yes I say to them ‘oh no I’ll be happier with another boy actually’ (because it’ll be cheaper not having to buy new clothes!) even though that’s a lie. I don’t know why I can’t admit that to people. Even my other half doesn’t know! Maybe I don’t want people to think that I’ll be upset about the gender of my baby? It doesn’t mean I’ll love this baby any less and I’m worried people will think that. I’ve always had this weird inclination that I’ll never have a daughter and now that is becoming my reality and I am gutted. This will likely be our last baby too. I just want a daughter so badly. My son is the sweetest little guy and has honestly made my whole life complete but naturally I would adore having one of each. I grew up an only child and all my cousins were boys (and that’s a lot of cousins) so I’m just SO desperate for a girl! I feel like I’ve let my other half down too, I know he wants a girl so badly as well. Trying not to cry writing this. Like I said this baby boy will be loved so so so much but I’m hoping this feeling passes soon