World turned upside down... 😔😔

*Possible trigger, long post*

So yesterday, I went for a 35 week growth scan, the ultrasound technician didn’t say much but what she did say was that he was measuring ahead at 36w4days and that he was 6 pounds 12 ounces give or take a pound.. she said my doctor would talk to me about anything else she may see, so I left..

Today comes and my doctor calls. She tells me that my son is measuring 2 weeks ahead, has extra fluid around him almost at 35 when the normal fluid is 25 or below and that an abnormality was seen in his heart.

My whole body began to shake but my face remained emotionless. My other two kids were perfectly healthy born at full term with no issues, so why is this happening now? Thursday I’m going for another ultrasound and a echo for the baby’s heart and I also have to start seeing a high risk doctor.

I passed my gestational diabetes test, so why is he larger than average. I’m not doing nothing I wouldn’t normally do so why do I have too much fluid? Why is there an abnormality in his heart? On the inside I am crying and devastated but on the outside I’m just frozen.. I’ve went through this entire pregnancy fine and right in the home stretch everything is turned sideways...

I feel empty and hurt.. does anyone have any similar experiences or words of encouragement to help me through this... I feel like I’m about to fall apart.. please help anyone.. 😔😔😔