opinion on sex

So my mom has the habit to make sex such a scary and ugly thing to do. She always tries to scare me and shame me into not doing it. She says that having sex just for fun is not something girls do it’s what people with emotional problems and don’t value themselves do.

She doesn’t know that i have had sex and that’s kind of the reason why. SHE is the one that makes me feel dirty about it instead of me thinking about it on my own.

I just maybe need some reassurance for myself that it’s okay if I want to have sex and that it doesn’t always have to be such a gross thing.

Update:

I am 19 years old I forgot to add