I dont know where to start but i feel like I'm losing my shit. 😔

Have you ever felt like you've made huge mistakes in your life just for the sake of being socially accepted?

So i married my husband when we were both around 24 and now i'm 30 with a toddler and i reached a point where i wish that focused purely on my career rather than getting married thinking it makes me happy to be with someone who liked me within a few months of knowing him.

He never cheated on me or abused me but i just feel like i lost my soul in this lifestyle. Our baby was unplanned at a time where i was working a full time job and studying for my masters degree.. it was quite stressful especially that he had a job where he traveled most of the time of my pregnancy but i managed to do great in both but i ended up gaining 30 kgs due to stress and binge eating which i cant lose till now.

Then i had to leave my job for the baby as i had no1 to bsbysit then we moved to somewhere else where he got a better offer and i tried applying for jobs in this new town but the market is crap for my major, so here i am.. overweight and unemployed and husband doesn't even appreciate my work at home although i hate this new place and i came with him just for the sake of his career...

I was so excited on valentine's day thinking it was gonna be a romantic night went out to get him a gift and a nice lingerie and whike i was shopping,he sent a message asking if ot was ok to go to his colleagues reception (only men reception) .. i was mad and je didn't go but we ended up with a big fight then just watching tv..

I feel like he's adjusting with this new city and I'm just feeling sick missing my old life and look although its been a year.

I also thought about divorce but in our stupid religion i have no right to claim anything from the divorce... i cant leave with nothing and start from the zero as i sacrificed alot for our life together especially career wise and i supported him till he reached this level of his career.

I really dont know... i like him but i hate my life being married to him with no appreciation.. im feeling sad for myself, my weight, my look, my career, my health, even my life ....

I always daydream about how my life would be if i wasn't married or had no kids (although my baby is my life dont get me wrong)... i just feel selfish as well for feeling this way.

Now I'm just depressed.

Any advice?

Tia