Sperm donor issues

Okay please help me by either providing personal experience, professional recommendations, or sisterly advice.

My wife is deployed and before she left we picked out a donor and did all the necessary paperwork. Well after she left I found out that the donor we wanted only had reserved vials left for siblings 🙃🙃🙃

I didn’t know what to do so I looked around and I found a guy locally who matched what we were looking for and I had him get tested for STDs and genetic disorders markers. He was good to go.

I was unable to approve any of this with my wife due to nature of deployment so I made the decision to go ahead with this donor.

Now I have a problem. The guy wants to be involved in the child’s life and that was not what we agreed on! I did have him sign a form but it was never notarized so he said he will contest the validity of the parental rights sign over and the no contact form. Not to mention, in all this time we’ve spent doing doctors appointments and meeting so that I could asses his character, he believes he fancies me!!!!

My wife is going to be livid. Idk what to do. I’m starting to get so stressed, I’m 12weeks, I’ve lost 9lbs due to stressing. I see my wife in 6weeks.

He is so insistent that I just don’t know what to do. My wife would NEVER go for it. Help!

**edit—no offense but ew no. The donor deposited his sperm into a sterile cup which was given to me by the doctors office on every occasion and I inseminated alone.

I will be telling my wife but she’s the type to want me to present her with the facts and then what I plan to do to fix the problem. Okay so definitely a lawyer. I will be looking first thing in the morning!

Wife has not found out yet because she’s deployed but we made the decision for me to start trying before she left. We don’t get to speak other than letters and that is only me speaking to her so I was planning on surprising her with the news when I see her in 6 weeks. We definitely thought that it would take longer than 6months just because of statistics.