TRIGGER: everyone makes me feel stupid. Am I stupid?
2 years ago I had a MC at 6 weeks. I had the positive test, some symptoms, and I just had that feeling where I knew I pregnant. I never did get it confirmed by a doctor though. I got the positive test (not am evap), and then a few days later, tests were negative and I was bleeding pretty heavily. We had been TTC for almost a year and have been TTC ever since.
To me, that was devastating. I knew I was pregnant and I knew I lost the baby. I know I was super early, but in my mind, I did not just lose this little tiny beginning of a baby, I lost everything. Everything the future would have brought with that baby. Bringing them home, hearing the laughs, watching them grow up, everything. That's what was the hardest for me. Knowing that I would never know who that baby would turn out to be.
After a while, we decided to give that baby a name and get tattoos for the baby.
Everyone keeps treating me like I'm stupid because I was only 6 weeks along and only knew about it for a couple days. Some things I have been told are, "it wasn't even a baby yet", "if you had waited a couple days to test, you wouldn't have even known you were pregnant", "your pregnancy doesn't count until a doctor confirms it", "you probably weren't even pregnant", "I had a MC at __weeks, get over it, you were barely pregnant", "that's not a real miscarriage "
Am I really stupid for feeling this way? Like that was my baby, and I lost it? Am I stupid for having grieved that loss? Am I stupid for posting in these groups when I have a rough day?
Please be totally honest with me, gentle, but honest.