So I planned my baby’s first birthday party to host just the grandparents and my grandma (so 7 people since my boyfriend’s parents are split). I let everyone know about the party well in advance, I bought just enough plates, cups, and planned enough food for the ten of us to have a nice little party to celebrate our baby. We went small so our baby won’t be overwhelmed, and because we can’t afford to host a big party.

So my mil stops by today and informs me that they won’t be coming because they “have plans”. Like I’m sorry what? She then has the nerve to ask me to move the date, change the location (to my sil’s house), and tells me I should invite the rest of my boyfriend’s family. Like everyone else has already said they’re coming and my parents/grandma have already booked their hotel (since they live 6 hours away from us) so I can’t just change the plans even if I wanted to.

I think she doesn’t want to come since she knows the party will mainly be in English - she’s French, she can speak English, so can everyone in my boyfriend’s family, yet every time they get together I feel alienated since literally no one bothers to speak to me since I don’t know French (and all their parties are entirely in French - including my baby shower). And it’s not like she’d have no one to speak to - everyone besides me will know French.

My boyfriend is pretty annoyed too since it’s our baby’s first birthday and his mom constantly complains about not spending enough time with her and how her grandson (my boyfriend’s nephew) lives too far away to see very often, and yet she’s missing out on a big life event because she has “plans”. My boyfriend’s dad is coming and the party is on his actual birthday. He’s probably also feeling annoyed since she tried to skip out on his graduation (from university - first in his family to do so) so it’s making it seem like she doesn’t care about our family.

I’m not sure if I’m making a bigger deal out of this than there needs to be but I’m just so pissed and feel so disappointed for my daughter. Like my mil doesn’t even buy gifts for my baby she just gives me money to get something that’s from her and based on experience I know that’s never going to change. Just had to get this off my chest - I’m not sure how we’re going to handle this :/