I am trying to navigate my emotions while going through this divorce and it has been great/awful and happy/sad times.

I have moments when every cell in my body craves the love of a man. Any man. Any man who would put forth the amount of effort I put into relationships.

I have moments when I want to defy every natural urge to let people in. I fall hard and fast whether it be friends or significant others. I want to learn how to put up as many walls as possible.

I have moments when I picture my future and see myself doing day to day activities with just me and my kids and focusing on us solely with no interest in someone else being in our lives.

I have moments when I fantasize about a man longing to actually be with me and making love to me in my new bedroom in my new house.

I have moments when I look at my STB ex-husband and simply cannot understand what I did to make him so cold towards me. Part of me starts to wish I could be his everything once again.

I have moments when my ex does or says something that instantly reminds me of why the divorce is happening in the first place and I’m okay with it.

I have moments when I want to invite people into my life...and I have moments I want to shut the whole world out.

I hope I can look back at these moments one day and know I took the right paths. Until then, I’ll just take it one moment at a time.