Sorry for the rant. This is gonna get ugly..

The situation is so fucked. My whole life has been because of her and I’m so sad and pissed right now. She’s sick. She’s an addict and an alcoholic. Her BP is always through the roof. If she detoxes, her BP sky rockets and she ends up in the hospital or worse. Like today, she had a stroke.

This is a disease. She literally can’t stop or she will have another stroke or heart attack because her body can no longer physically handle the process of detoxing. She chose a high not all this and now it’s too late.

Apparently she had symptoms 2 days ago and woke up with little to no function on her entire left side of the body. She may never get it back. Now I’m supposed to take care of her if she can’t function on her own? Take care of her like she never did is when we were growing up and needed her the most. We were kids. It’s not fair. I’m so tired of this life right now. To think whether she lives or dies, either now or in 10 years We’ll still be burdened. By having to figure out a place to put her to take care of her or pay for funeral costs which I can’t do. I literally have $30 in my bank account. Wtf. Like I said, the situation is so fucked. Idk whether to be sad or mad and to think I’m such a fucked up person for thinking all this.