I’m laying in the bed crying.. this last month has been so stressful and nerve wrecking for me.. this should be a time of excitement and joy, but it has been everything but that.

I’ve been so scared, because I’m diabetic and my blood pressure has been all over the place. I prayed so long for this baby, and so has my seven year old(I haven’t told him yet), and God had answered our prayers, but I’m feeling defeated and like I’m not strong enough for this.

My doctor has me tracking my blood sugar levels for the next month until my 13 week appt. She wants me to get it under 95 after fasting, but it’s always ranges 102-113.. I’m so scared that something will happen to my baby. After meals it should be under 120.. Last night it was 130 😬.. I want to tell my son so bad that he is going to be big brother, but I’m afraid to because I don’t want to disappoint him.. I really need some extra prayers bd good vibes sent my at today. I am an emotional wreck.